


re:

by ruiyeahs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Divorced Junhui & Minghao, Getting Back Together, Happy The8 of Jun, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Implied Top!Minghao, M/M, Meanie secretly wants to take Mingyue's child custody, Minghao is just a confused boy, Mingyue is a smart kid, There's a bit of fluff though, Vague aged-up characters, Very JunHao centric if it's not obvious, Very very vague internalised homophobia/denial, just kidding lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24604315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruiyeahs/pseuds/ruiyeahs
Summary: Junhui is like serein to him. The fine, light rain that falls from a clear sky at sunset or in the early hours of night; evening serenity that takes his breath away. Just like petrichor, the smell of earth after rain that heals the aching pain in his heart. Or the low rumble of distant thunder, a sense of familiarity like a home to him.Minghao wants to hold him in his arms, to tie the red knot and to kiss him on the lips again. Minghao wants Junhui.» Getting Back Together (Card A)
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 10
Kudos: 84
Collections: THE8 OF JUN





	re:

“Are Mr. Xu and Mr. Wen still together? As in, still romantically in love and together with sex in between but without the official title part?”

“Didn’t you hear? They divorced back in early November two years ago. That’s like Mr. Xu’s birthday month, isn’t it? Ah, I can’t imagine how he must’ve felt back then.”

“That’s why I’m saying without the official title part, like friends with benefit but with love involved.”

“Wait, really? They seemed to be very close for a divorced couple, I saw them at nearby café having lunch together a couple of times before. If you’re divorced then you wouldn’t be _that_ close right? I mean, there would be some distant between the two of you right? Like a rift or something, there should be…”

“No one who's romantically involved with each other wants to have a divorce and then acts like they’re still a couple after the hell they went through, that just doesn’t settles right. That defeats the whole purpose of divorce itself.”

“I heard it’s for their son, I'm not sure if they have sex as well but I might be wrong. Mr. Wen does spent a lot of time being in Mr. Xu's office and the latter always drives him home too. There might be something more to their relationship.”

“Ah, Mingyue right? I heard he—”

“Shh!!”

The workers who were originally huddled together went back to their places in the speed of lightning when Junhui came out of Minghao’s office, his composure was calm but his eyes were cold and intimidating; enough to kill a man. In his one hand were files for Minghao’s upcoming meetings and schedules, in the other hand was a cup of rose tea from Minghao which the younger insisted on giving him—just like any other days when they were still married, just like _before_.

“If you have so much free time like that, why don’t you look for another job instead? I’m sure you’ll be needing it soon, no?” Junhui tilted his head, if a look could kill, the other workers would've been dead the moment he came out of Minghao’s office. Forget about what ifs, they were sure that Junhui was more than capable of murdering someone who he deemed to be unfitting to his standards. “No one needs your running mouths here.”

Junhui gave them one last look before walking away, leaving the place without even looking back once. It wasn’t a secret anymore that he had fired a couple of workers before because he simply thought that they were there not to work and do their jobs properly but rather spreading lies and talk words about other people’s business, their CEO didn’t even care about Junhui’s ‘impulsive’ behavior at all—some people assumed that it was merely because the two used to be a thing and their CEO still had some feelings left for the older Chinese male.

The workers let out heavy sighs almost simultaneously when Junhui’s figure disappeared into the lift nearby, huffing at Junhui’s threat of firing them. They never liked Junhui anyway, not only the male ‘took’ their hot boss away but Junhui was also annoying as fuck with all of his rules and arrogance. The man was too perfect for any of them to drag down and they didn't like it.

“I really don’t get him, he looks nice but his personality is ugly.”

“Isn’t that the tea Mr. Xu always insisted on giving him every day? Despite not being together anymore?”

“I don’t understand them, they’re not together anymore but still acts like they are. I mean, if you’re still in love with each other then what’s with the divorce? And why does Mr. Xu care so much about him, anyway?”

“Have you ever heard people from Division Six talking about it? They said that Mr. Xu and Mr. Wen started fighting after that one business trip to L.A,” one of the workers said. “And their marriage has never been the same ever since.”

“The cursed trip?”

“What trip?”

“Ah, you’re a new kid right? No wonder why you never heard anything about it.”

“It happened around five years ago, Mr. Xu had a business trip to Shanghai, just like what he always did many other times as the owner of this company before. None of us thought that something was wrong or that he did something behind Mr. Wen’s back but that was until photos of him were leaked to public, photos of him and the secretary of some company in what seemed like a night club. No one thought he was the type to get wasted like that but apparently, he did and he seemed to be _really_ drunk in those photos but what set everything to fire was the fact that he had his arm around the secretary’s waist and was whispering something to her. Well, judging from what we saw. They seemed to be _really_ close. There was no way that they were just ‘colleagues’. You can guess how hard the blow Mr. Wen took as his lover and from then, I heard they started to have fights after fights until finally they settled with the divorcement two years ago.”

“Mr. Wen was seven months pregnant, wasn’t he? I mean, not that I’m defending him or anything but it was no wonder why he got very emotional over photos like that, especially _that_ kind of photos. If I were him, heck, I would’ve gone with the divorcement right away without having to wait for endless fights and arguments.”

“Well, exactly because he was seven months pregnant.” One of them rolled her eyes. “Don’t do things according to your own ego and feelings, I think Mr. Wen is just thinking about his son’s future.”

“That’s right, when you have a family of your own especially expecting a kid, you don’t put yourself before anything else like you used to.”

“I don’t like him because I feel like he was being such a pain in the ass all the time especially after talking to Mr. Xu because it seems like Mr. Xu gets on his nerves ‘somehow’ but I have to admit that he has my respect. I’m sure he was in a lot of pain back then, heck, even I get hurt and pissed just by thinking what if it happened to me? I’m not sure if I could be as strong as him, let alone holding on for three years knowing that my husband probably did a lot of shit behind me.”

“Don’t forget the depressing thoughts that seems to be crashing on you all at once, day by day thinking what did you do wrong or why did your husband stopped ‘loving’ you. Mr. Wen is actually a very strong person, he put his son first before anything else even though he was hurting badly. Perhaps he was just waiting until Mingyue is a little bit older and understand things better to finally end everything.”

“You’re right, I got to admit that Mingyue is a lot smarter than kids around his age. He seems to understand things better, knowing when to push and to pull back. He seems to understand the situation between his parents hence the reason he never ask for his mother when he was with his father and vice versa. I never saw him disturbing Mr. Xu either, he always waits for his father to finish his work before asking him for attention.”

“But knowing how Mr. Xu is, he’s not the type to explain himself over something that he feels unnecessary and not a big deal. I wonder how Mr. Wen felt back then, did he tried to ask what actually happened or did he said nothing?”

“Unnecessary and not a big deal? I don’t think cheating is included in those categories.”

“But Mr. Xu is not the type to cheat on his partner like that, you all know how gentle he is. Mr. Xu was basically raised with love and dignity, he would never do something like that especially to his own husband. And Mr. Wen was pregnant at the time, right? There is really no reason for him to do such a thing.”

“But it is possible if they’ve never been in love before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard it was an arranged marriage which means it’s possible that there was no love to begin with, the only thing keeping them in touch now is their son. Did you know that Mr. Wen pursued music before he got married to Mr. Xu? He was doing well at the time, had a promising career too and if I remember correctly, he mentioned once that he didn't want to take over his father's company and that's why his brother took his place instead.”

“I heard of that too, and the fact that he's working as Mr. Xu's secretary because of that arrangement in the first place even though it doesn't work out well in the end is just sad. He already gave up his career for their marriage, but now has no place to go back to. Ah, their lives are so complicated.”

“If it’s complicated then why bother?”

The workers who were busy talking jolted in their seats and turned their heads towards the source of the cold voice, a shiver ran down their spines upon seeing their CEO who just got out of his office; Minghao looked at them with his cold eyes while holding a kindergarten’s bag with frogs print and a name tag on it that says ‘Xu Mingyue’.

“I need reports on recent sales for _Night & Rain_, _Moon Lover_ and _The 8 Eclipse_. Also the newly signed contract with _PRIMROSE_ , the progress on our deal with designer Yoon Jeonghan and our statistics for _Infinity Moon_.” Minghao said coldly. “And I expected all of them would be on my desk by tomorrow morning.”

The workers let out the breaths they were holding once Minghao was gone from their sights, holding their thumping hearts and wiping the sweats off their foreheads. They thought it was the end of their lives _plus_ careers.

“Both Mr. Xu and Mr. Wen are frightening and heartless when it comes to work.”

* * *

“Daddy!!” a little boy squealed happily as he ran towards his father with open arms, his jet black hair moving gently against the cool breeze of summer, as if dancing along with the wind.

Minghao smiled as he knelt down, welcoming his son in his warm embrace. The boy giggled and smooched his father’s cheeks, a bright smile was plastered on his face. Minghao smiled and ruffled his son’s hair fondly. Mingyue had a sharp and pointy nose, heart shaped lips, big sparkly eyes and dark brows. The little boy mostly took after his mother’s appearance, so much that he looked like the exact mini copy of Junhui.

“How was your day, hmm?” Minghao asked the boy while picking him up.

“It was nice! I made a lot of friends and we made paper cranes and—” Mingyue stopped talking when he saw someone not too far away from him, approaching the two with a sweet smile.

“Myungho!” she called.

“ _Noona_ ,” Minghao smiled and nodded at the woman.

“He must be Mingyue?” she asked and Minghao nodded.

“Hello, nice to meet you.” The lady smiled sweetly. “You’re just as handsome as your father.”

Mingyue looked at her with a small pout on his face, clearly not wanting to talk with the woman. He buried his face in the crook of Minghao’s neck, completely ignoring her.

“Hǔ zǐ,” Minghao called him. “Don’t be a brat and say hello.” **虎子 (Hǔ zǐ) means tiger cub; tiger son, brave young man.

“I don’t like her,” Mingyue said in Mandarin. “I want to go home.”

“Hǔ—”

“I want mommy.”

Minghao sighed at his son’s stubbornness, perhaps this was his karma for being too stubborn in his early days. Now he understood what kind of hell his parents went through when he was young, usually at times like this, Junhui would be the one handling their son, persuading him until Mingyue was back to his normal bubbly self all while Minghao watched from afar.

Minghao had never been _that_ close with their son, at least not to Junhui’s extent of closeness. Might had something to do with his works and overseas business trips, though Mingyu argued that it's because his son _knew_ Minghao’s true feelings deep inside despite the smile on his father’s face. Mingyu said that children were usually more sensitive to feelings than adults hence the reason why most of the times they know when one of their parents lied to them.

“Fine,” Minghao said in defeat. “I’m sorry _noona_ , I have to go.”

“That soon?” she pouted. “But we just meet? At least let me buy you a drink!” she said again, holding Minghao’s hand.

“Daddy, I want to go home now!” Mingyue whined, squirming in Minghao’s arms.

“Okay Hǔ zǐ, stop squirming, it's dangerous.”

“You’re really going to leave me?” she asked again, pouting her lips.

“I’m sorry _noona_ ,” Minghao apologized. “Perhaps next time.”

“No!” Mingyue yelled. “No next time!! Daddy, it’s enough! Enough hurting mommy!”

Minghao froze on his feet upon hearing his son’s words, suddenly losing the color to his face. This was perhaps the first time Mingyue had ever addressed what happened between his parents and to think that the first thing coming out of his mouth about them was the fact that he acknowledged that his father _did_ hurt his mother had Minghao losing all of his confidence as a father and as a man. So that's how Mingyue see him; someone who hurt his mother.

“I’ll take my leave now.” Minghao said as he walked towards his car.

* * *

The two of them were silent on the way to Minghao’s place, the Chinese male could see his son playing with the hem of his school uniform, a sign that he was deep in his thoughts or something was bothering him— _just like Junhui_.

Minghao tightened his grips on the steering wheel, words hanging on the tip of his tongue. Finally, he took a deep breath and mustered all the courage he had before asking; it was now or never.

“How is your mother?” he asked, wincing at how his voice break at the end of the question. He didn’t want to ask especially after what Mingyue said to him before but he always did, every time it was his turn to take care of Mingyue for the weekends. He always asked how Junhui was doing and he hated the fact that he couldn’t even bring himself to stop asking because he _needed_ to know. He needed to know whether or not Junhui was fine. He needed to know whether or not Junhui was breaking into pieces like in those nightmares he had every single night.

“Fine,” Mingyue answered, eyes still on the roads. “Mommy doesn’t smile as often as what Uncle Wonu said he used to be but he’s fine. Mommy is trying his best.”

Minghao’s heart clenched at the last sentence, his breath was shaky as he tried to clear his throat. A part of him felt guilty and responsible for the changes in Junhui but another part of him egoistically defending himself that it wasn’t his fault, he never asked for any of _this_.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Can we go to Uncle Wonu’s place?”

“Sure.” Minghao said as he changed their direction to Wonwoo and Mingyu’s place.

Wonwoo was Junhui’s friend and he worked at Mingyue’s school so the boy often come to their house while waiting for Junhui to pick him up on working days.

Minghao’s relationship was not so good with the older male, being Junhui’s ex-husband plus the main source of Junhui’s pain didn’t really give him a good image in front of Wonwoo hence the cold and sharp words he received from the man. But they worked it out somehow, the air was still tense between them but it had lessened during the past few months ever since Mingyue became more talkative than before.

They arrived in no time at Wonwoo and Mingyu’s place because their house was located near the school, Minghao parked his car in the front yard and opened the door to Mingyue’s side. The boy quickly jumped out and ran towards the wooden double doors, Minghao shook his head in amusement as he took Mingyue’s backpack and went to his son’s side before knocking at the double doors.

Mingyu was the one who greeted them, the male immediately smiled and squatted down in front of Mingyue and squeezed his cheeks, earning a small whine plus giggle from the boy.

“Wonu is in the kitchen, want to go and bake something with him?”

Mingyue nodded in enthusiasm before he looked up to his father, eyes big and sparkly as if he was asking for a permission to play with his favorite uncle Wonwoo. This simple gesture came from the basic manner Junhui had taught their son. Just like his mother, Mingyue was born with delicate beauty and royalty manner unlike Minghao who was born with nothing but arrogance and only then was raised with love and dignity, but what’s the use of love and dignity if he couldn’t even stop himself from hurting the only person in his life to ever stand by his side through thick and thin? Minghao shook his head subtly from the thoughts before forcing himself to smile.

“You can go.” He said, chuckling at his son’s excitement as he watched the boy politely excused himself before running towards the kitchen area. “It’s unfair how close he is to you guys,” Minghao said as he stepped inside. “Someone mistook him once as your kid and not mine.” There was bitterness in his voice. “Funny if you think about it.”

“Since when did you started eating macaroons?” Mingyu asked as he sit down in front of Minghao, quirking his brows. He knew the answer to this but decided to ask anyway, Minghao needed someone to cold slap his face before he ran out of luck in fixing things with Junhui. His friend was running out of time and walking on thin ice.

“Oh it’s—”

“For Jun hyung?”

Minghao sealed his lips, choosing not to answer Mingyu but apparently it was enough for the other male to understand everything. “You love him.”

“That’s a strong word for you to say.”

“Really? Because as far as I could tell, you _do_ love him. You can’t deny this forever, even if you’re saying that this is all for Mingyue’s sake or it’s just a small gesture from you as his boss.” Mingyu snorted. “You don’t want to let him go, Minghao. There is a part in your heart which tells you not to let him go, but you’re too arrogant to admit it, right?”

“You’re making things up.”

“I’m not.” Mingyu said, looking straight into Minghao’s eyes. “I know you Minghao, I’m your friend. I know when you’re in love and when you’re not, the two of you might start everything on the wrong side of life but you can’t deny the affection you feel towards Jun hyung forever. Minghao, _he changed you_. And whether you likes it or not, he makes you do the things you usually don’t or won’t, like this for example. The smallest things you do for him, morning tea? Sweets? Driving him back home? That’s not basic politeness if you asked me, at least not to _that_ extent. You loved him and still do.”

“It doesn’t change anything, can we stop talking about this?” Minghao said, massaging the space between his brows.

Mingyu didn’t say anything just in time for Wonwoo to enter the living room with Mingyue holding one of his hand and a tray of cookies in the other, Mingyue was talking to Wonwoo excitedly, jumping and giggling happily at the male.

“He seems very close to Wonwoo hyung.”

“He is.”

“I was surprised to know that he can fully speak both Korean and Mandarin well, he’s also learning English now. The last time I remembered, he was still struggling to speak a word. He grows really fast.”

“He lives five days a week with his mother Minghao, what do you expect? Of course he learned a lot of things in such a short period of time besides his mother is not a workaholic like you.”

“Is he?” Minghao asked absentmindedly, eyes looking at his son fondly.

“Did you know Jun hyung has been seeing a therapist for a while now?” Mingyu casually asked and Minghao turned his head towards him at the speed of lightning, brows furrowing.

“No, he didn’t tell me. What for?”

“It’s been hard on him.” Mingyu said. “You know, this whole thing? He’s hurting. It’s not just you.”

“But he didn’t tell me,” Minghao insisted. “He never told me anything.”

“Why would he? As far as Jun hyung knows, you don’t like him and never will. Why should he tell you about that? Besides, aren’t you the one who insisted that you’re not gay? That you don’t care about him at all? That’s the reason this whole mess happened, isn’t it? The leaked photos and this— _this_.”

“I’m not gay Mingyu, you know I never was. I don’t want to hurt him more than I already did, I took his dream and future away, what kind of a fake act that I should pull _again_ in order for him to forgive me? None, the least I could do is to set him free.”

“But did you, though?” Mingyu quirked his brows, feeling a little bit fed up with how Minghao’s brain works.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you honestly think that you set him free? That you’re doing him a favor? You do realize that you’re being ridiculous, right? Stop talking nonsense Minghao, what if he doesn’t want to be set free? Did you think of him when you made those decisions that you insisted were for him? Were those really for him, or for you?”

“What are you implying Mingyu? Why are you saying like—you know what? It doesn’t matter. At least this way, no one forced him to be with me.”

Mingyu looked at Minghao with a hard expression for a moment, he noticed the dark circles under his friend’s eyes, his pale and chapped lips, his unfocused gaze and the lost youth from him. Minghao clearly had been overworking himself for the past few years, he didn’t even looked like _the_ Minghao that Mingyu knew back then, the youthful, cool and gentleman Xu Minghao whom everyone had a crush on. The male who stole the nation’s heart on his first appearance as the sole heir of Xu family in public.

Right now, Minghao looked pitiful.

“Don’t you think Mingyue deserved to have both of his parents back? And not just an on and off fucked up professional relationship?”

“What nonsense are you saying? He has _both_ of his parents.”

“Yeah, but not the way he deserved to have.” Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Tomorrow is Jun’s hyung birthday.”

Minghao didn’t say anything but his faltered movement told Mingyu that he indeed forgot about it until his friend mentioned it to him. Mingyu let out a snort, Minghao insisted that he didn’t care yet he brought Junhui a cup of rose tea every morning, drove him back to the older male’s home, had lunch together every day, bought Junhui his favorite macaroons, made sure the older male was dressed warmly in winter, even checked up on him once in a while despite being in the same building and now this, Minghao was truly bad at hiding and realizing his own feelings. If there was one thing that Mingyu hated from his friend, it would be how dense plus stubborn Xu Minghao could be.

“It’s really a pain in the ass to watch you like this and honestly, I’m _this_ close to punching your face.” Mingyu said which earned him a look of disapproval from Minghao, definitely not agreeing on what the male said earlier. “I don’t know what’s in your head but you’re clearly still in love with him. You’re free to tell lies about this Minghao but let me tell you this, friends don’t do that kind of things okay? Alright, maybe you made a big mistake in the past, you hurt him and perhaps that’s why you feel like you’re responsible for everything and that setting him ‘free’ is the least you can do for him but honestly at this point, I’m not even sure anymore. You looked like shit Minghao and that’s the truth. Both you and Jun hyung changed after your divorcement and that’s not ‘for the better’ kind of change. It’s like something that wasn’t supposed to happen between you two, like you’re forcing your own end to the tangled strings. You’re cutting things out and now they’re ended up choking _both_ of you.”

“No one is happy about a divorcement Mingyu, unless they’re in a toxic or abusive relationship of course but that’s not the case here. I just—”

“Feel sorry? Guilty? Responsible for everything?” Mingyu’s words came out a lot harsher than what he intended them to be and they hit bull's eye to Minghao's pride and feelings.

“If you know about it then why you’re still asking?” Minghao said, sounding almost like he was tired of everything already.

“You two need to talk.”

“It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t want to be involved with me like _that_ anymore.”

“How do you know? How can you be so sure about that? Stop getting so high in your head, Xu Minghao.”

 _“From his gestures??”_ Minghao finally snapped, eyes reddening. “His words, his actions, his—his everything?? It doesn’t take more than a brain cell to figure that out!” Minghao spat.

“Yeah and apparently, you don’t have any brain cells at all!”

Minghao looked at Mingyu, obviously furious and offended by the male’s words. “Just so you know, I graduated from—”

“Royal College of Art, yes I know that Xu Minghao because I fucking graduated from the same place too. But why does it matter? You can’t even figure out his feelings, what’s the use of bragging about it then? Jun hyung is like an open book, you can see right through him if only _you_ let _yourself_ to understand him and yet you can’t— _won’t_.”

“Correction, he is not an open book. Wen Junhui might be everything but he is nowhere near the damn word of ‘open book’.” Minghao argued. “Not even close to it.”

“Is he though? Because as far as I could tell, me and Wonwoo hyung are pretty much seeing everything right through him and we both clearly saw that he’s not as happy as you said he’s supposed to be after the divorcement.”

“Well, he is to me.”

“Is he?”

“For fuck’s sake Kim Mingyu,” Minghao hissed. “I’m going to kick your face.”

“You know what? You always brag about being the most romantic one out of us, those candlelight dinners, roses, fireworks and stuffs that you did for your summer flings back in college. Why don’t you show Jun hyung your skills at that? Besides, his birthday is tomorrow and perhaps you can try to shoot the arrow you never had the courage to let go of, see if he’ll take it or not.”

“And if he’s not?”

“Then you know that he’s not in the same boat as you and fuck your entire lineages because you just lost someone precious and ethereal like him which only born once in infinity but if he does? I swear to god, you have to make a run for it. Run like your life depends on it and I will not forgive you, you hear me? I will not forgive you, not even the slightest bit if you ever let him go again. I’m going to punch your face and took Mingyue away from you.”

Minghao shot Mingyu a look, he didn’t like any words coming out of Mingyu’s lips and the fact that _perhaps_ , perhaps Mingyu was right. “I don’t know, we’re not—we’re not together anymore and I don’t think it’s wise to—”

“Think of how happy Mingyue would be.” Minghao sealed his lips at Mingyu’s words, the male looking at him with sincerity. “Imagine that he could finally have both of his parents an arm away. All he had to do was to reach out and both his mommy and daddy would hold his hands, he wouldn’t have to be scared of the night anymore because his daddy was there to fight the monsters, he wouldn’t have to be sad anymore because his mommy wouldn’t secretly crying anymore. Think about him.”

“I—”

“Besides, I’m sure the little kid would be happy to know that his parents are still in love with each other and not in some cold and painful war or something, imagine how he would feel when he find out that you two are having a candlelight dinner together, catching up to some stories or—”

“We have scheduled lunch every day Mingyu, we also work together five days a week. I don’t think there’s anything to catch up to between us.”

“One day, I’m going to commit a crime.” Mingyu muttered under his breath. “Just do as I say, okay? You won’t regret it, trust me. Besides, it’s his birthday tomorrow so I don’t think it’s going to be awkward or anything.”

* * *

Junhui’s brows furrowed as he entered Minghao’s place, the younger male asked him to come without saying what for earlier before, he even asked Junhui to dress up nicely. It was a weird request but since Minghao rarely asked him for anything even back when they were still together, Junhui didn’t think much about it. Perhaps this was a work related one so it was only normal that the younger male expected him to show up in a nice and expensive suit, after all, he represented Minghao’s company too.

Junhui quickly entered the luxurious place, surprised that Minghao still hadn’t change the password in years. 170608, _their wedding date_. He tried not to think much about it—perhaps Minghao was just too busy to change it or he didn’t really care.

Junhui narrowed his eyes down to get a better look inside the dim place, was Minghao even at home? It seemed like no one was there. He looked around for a moment until he found a red envelope on the table, Junhui took a few steps forward cautiously before taking the envelope.

It was a simple red envelope yet he could feel from the texture of the paper and the vibrant color of it that this was an expensive one—with no company seals, which was weird because usually a high grade envelope like this was used for company purpose only.

Junhui pondered for a moment whether or not it was appropriate for him to open it without Minghao’s consent but his curiosity won over his logical side so he broke the cat seal on top of it, he furrowed his brows. He didn’t remember seeing any cat stamps in Minghao’s office, did he recently bought this one? Because obviously this one did not represent their company logo nor looked ‘professional’ enough for the younger to be using.

Junhui chewed on his bottom lip as he read the small letter inside,

**Turn to your left, find me and take my scarf.**

“Huh?” Junhui’s brows furrowed even more as he turned to his left.

He squinted his eyes before discovering a big stuffed frog doll wearing a scarf far in the corner, Junhui put the letter down and made his way towards the stuffed doll.

The place was eerily quite unlike what he remembered and Junhui had a weird feeling about all of this. Why did Minghao asked him to come here? If this was a business related one, then surely they could talk about it first thing in the morning at the office where it was more appropriate and suitable. Or if it was about Mingyue, certainly he wouldn’t do something… peculiar, like this for example. It was almost as if Minghao was playing a hide and seek game with him, but why?

Junhui took the big stuffed frog doll, turning it around to search for something else before he realized that it was the same exact doll Minghao gave to him when they went to a nearby carnival for their first date. Junhui scoffed lightly, he had forgotten about the existence of this doll and the memories it had. The doll still looked decent, soft and smelled nice indicating that Minghao took a very good care of it.

“Did I left you here?” Junhui asked, sadness was present in his tone. “I’m sorry.”

Junhui looked at the doll for a second longer, memories of him and Minghao at the carnival flashed before his eyes, filling his mind once again. Those memories were not supposed to come back, they were supposed to be forgotten the moment their strings were cut. He was supposed to forget about _everything_. Junhui let out a small sigh before taking the scarf off the doll, examining it and found a another letter hidden between the layers there.

**It was cold, wasn’t it? But I remembered the sweet potatoes we ate together on the way to home and the champagne we shared in our living room by the moonlight.**

Junhui played with the scarf in his hand and only then did he realized that it was the one he knitted for Minghao for his twenty-fifth birthday. The red scarf which the younger liked so much he wore it everywhere he goes, even bragging about it to his friend Mingyu.

Junhui chuckled lightly, he had to admit that Minghao was so good at acting, he had completely fallen for his lies back then. Or maybe he knew but he choose not to see it, either way it was all in the past now, there is no use in asking endless why(s) about it.

He wrapped the scarf around the frog’s neck again and went to the living room, guessing that this was the next destination considering the letter he had. He was still confused as to why Minghao did this but he wouldn’t deny the slight excitement either, this was like the game of hide and seek he often played with his cousin when he was young except this was Minghao, his ex-husband.

Junhui found a bottle of champagne, two glasses and a small music box on the table in the living room. Then memories of him and Minghao spending the night while drinking bottles of champagne until they were knocked out flooded his mind once again, he remembered they were sprawled on the couch, legs tangled and giggles filling the room followed by small kisses from the younger male.

Junhui shook his head, not wanting to remember any further than that. Then he took the champagne and read the label.

**I remembered the song you made for me, it was beautiful.**

Junhui’s gaze landed on the music box in front of it before taking the wooden box in his hands, it was crafted delicately with a moon and stars craved on each sides of it. This was the music box Minghao gave him when they first got engaged and if he remembered correctly, Minghao was the one who made this from scratch, from the box down to the music sheet inside.

Junhui let out a bitter sigh, he left so many things behind, too many of them in which seeing those things brought pain to his heart rather than warmth that he was supposed to be feeling. His breath hitched as soon as he opened the music box, the first melody of his own song.

_“It’s beautiful g_ _ēge, what is it called?” Minghao asked, leaning on the grand piano made of glasses beside him._

_“Can You Sit By My Side?” Junhui answered shyly, his cheeks slightly flushing._

_Minghao chuckled as he sat next to his fiancé, long and slender fingers brushing the soft and silky hair to the back. Junhui looked at him with his big and sparkly eyes, his cheeks now flushing._

_“How is it?” He carefully asked, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater._

_“Beautiful,” Minghao trailed. “Just like you.”_

Junhui looked down at the music box in his hand, there were emotions flashing in his honey eyes. Something like an aching feeling that he had been hiding deep inside of him for years, a feeling that no one knew but him.

Minghao was such a good actor that everything he did felt real to Junhui, from his feathery touch, his gentle kisses to his sweet whispers. His gentle eyes, his bright smile and his promises. Was Junhui a fool? Or was he a selfish person who turned blind to his lies just because the younger male was everything he could’ve asked for?

Junhui felt something in his chest, tightening every time he took a breath, almost killing him each time. Was it regret? For binding the younger male to him despite knowing everything? Was Junhui wrong for wanting to hold the person he loved? For once, without a sense of regret nor a hint of pain. Just one time was all the he asked for yet his world fell apart the moment he took Minghao’s soft hands in his own. Holding the younger male at the cost of his own existence.

Junhui took a deep breath, not wanting to remember anything from his past yet it seemed like both his brain and heart couldn’t grasp the idea that he was hurting _badly_. Everything about Minghao was no longer fluttering and sweet to him but rather painful and terrifying. Like a trauma he desperately wanted to get away from; the monsters under his bed. He let out a shaky breath before reading the small letter next to the music box.

**Turn around and take ten steps ahead.**

Junhui put the music box down and turned around, took exactly ten steps like what the letter told him to and now was facing the wooden double doors. This was Minghao’s private office which he never let anyone in, he remembered this because he once entered the room without knowing anything and ended up getting scolded by the younger male. Minghao apologized to him late at night though, showering his face with kisses while whispering how sorry he was for scolding the older male. Junhui smiled bitterly at the memory, was there anything real in those gentle acts he showed him?

Junhui decided to open the double doors and was greeted by a pool of red roses, from Minghao’s working desk down to the floor. There were also scented candle lights, photographs of Junhui hanging on the walls—from his early days to his recent ones when he accompanied Minghao to one of his meetings in New York.

Then he went straight to the blue velvet chaise longue Minghao insisted on having despite Junhui’s warning about the chaise lounge being an eye-sore sight in his office. There was a bouquet of roses from various colors with a letter next to it. Junhui took the bouquet and the letter at the same time.

**To you, the one who never let my hands go even when I was hard to love.**

**Find Xiao Mao, follow her and be careful of the stairs.**

**With every steps that you take, my heart is waiting for you.**

Junhui bit his bottom lip at the words written neatly on the letter, what did Minghao meant by this? _All of this?_ There was nothing between them—at least not anymore and even if there was something back when they were still married, it was all fake; an act between the two of them. No matter how hard he tried to understand all of these, Junhui couldn’t wrap his head around this whole situation. What did Minghao want from him? What more could Junhui give up for him? Even his existence had long gone for the sake of the younger male. Junhui had nothing more of him left.

Junhui looked at the flowers in his hands, blossoming beautifully with vibrant colors. If he remembered correctly, the first time they met was at a flower shop when Junhui was looking for a bouquet of flowers for his mother. Minghao was so young back then, laughing and joking freely with his friends even Junhui could feel the freshness of his youth. They didn’t know each other back then, heck, they had no idea that in the future, their parents would set them up together. But the sweet and shy smile Minghao flashed to him was enough to captivate his heart in a second.

Junhui smiled bitterly, it was unfortunate. Had he known that Minghao never agreed to the arrangement, he would’ve said no too. He wouldn’t bind the younger male to him, he wouldn’t have to give his dream and career up. None of this would happen. He put the flowers back down, the corner of his eyes caught a glint of silver ring on his pinky finger—the one they got when Junhui gave birth to Mingyue.

_“This is for us to remember, Mingyue is our miracle and will always be our miracle. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how many times we fall, we’re going to be strong, for him, for our son and for our miracle. We will always be one.”_

No—Junhui shook his head, even if he knew about the truth way before the wedding happened, he would still say yes. Again and again despite the pain he cause to both Minghao and himself. Mingyue was his everything and he wouldn’t trade his baby for anything in this world, even if it meant for him to end up on this painful road for so many times, he would still do it. Because Mingyue was their miracle.

Junhui was pulled out of his thoughts by a small meow from behind him, he turned around and held back a smile when he saw the familiar orange cat at the door. The cat meowed again and walked towards him, rubbing its head to Junhui’s legs.

He smiled and knelt down in front of the cat before scratching the back of the cat’s ear, earning a loud purr from it. It seemed like Xiao Mao still remember Junhui’s scent when the cat licked the tip of Junhui’s fingers, giving them small bites.

“Hello Xiao Mao, how have you been?” Junhui asked sweetly, the cat meowed again before turning around and began to walk away from him.

Junhui watched as the cat looked at him as if to ask him to follow it, Junhui smiled and followed the cat. Just like what was written on the letter, they went up the stairs to the second floor of Minghao’s place. There were scented candles with different colors on each of the stairs, there were also a few roses and violets along the way.

Junhui hadn’t got the chance yet before but now that he was looking around the place carefully, it looked almost exactly the same to their first night as a husband and wife. The dim and flickering lights from the candles, the roses, the fresh smell of lavender in the air and this whole cozy atmosphere. Junhui almost felt like he was brought back in time, to the exact moment filled with shy giggles, low grunts and cries of pleasure.

“What are you doing Minghao…?” Junhui whispered weakly, he stopped in front of big double doors with an envelope attached on it. He took the envelope and broke the seal before starting to read the letter inside.

**Do you remember? The beautiful sun and refreshing water of Whitehaven Beach? I remember you were complaining about how long it took to travel from China to Australia but then you forgot about everything including me the moment you saw the beach. We had a great time there, you were so beautiful Junhui _gē_** **, so beautiful that even the sun was jealous of your bright smile. I remember your warmth when you hugged me from behind, laughing heartily because you thought you managed to surprise me. You were so warm back then and how I wished to appreciate it a little bit more than I actually did.**

**I’m sorry.**

**You deserved better _gē_** **, you deserved so much better than a person like me.**

Junhui’s breath hitched, there was a lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest wouldn’t go away. There were tears in the corner of his eyes as he bit his lips to prevent any sounds from escaping, sounds he couldn’t even trust himself to let out.

He remembered every single thing that Minghao mentioned in his letter, he remembered every seconds of it too well for him to forget the shared memories crafted deep in the back of his mind as if they never happened. But the more he remembered about it, the painful it gets for him. The more he realized that it was all just an act, lies after lies Minghao showed him and Junhui could hear the heart he tried so hard to put back into shape was breaking apart, shattering with each memories filling him to the brim.

Why? Why did Minghao do all of this? What was his intention? Was it to hurt him?

Junhui took a deep breath, blinking the tears away from his eyes as he tried to ease the aching pain in his chest. Whatever Minghao was trying to achieve was none of his business, none of it matters anymore. They were not together, they never had been. He shouldn’t put too much feelings into this, perhaps Minghao was just trying to be nice or maybe he had something else in mind. Whatever it was, Junhui would never be a part of it—at least not anymore.

He put the letter back into the envelope after he was sure that his heart had calmed down and only then he realized the small post-it on the wooden doors.

**Open this door**

Without a second thought, Junhui pushed the wooden materials opened which led him straight to the balcony. The cold summer breeze greeted him almost immediately, Junhui had to blink his eyes for a moment to adjust to the sudden coldness before he was frozen in place when he saw who was in front of him.

There was Minghao in his designer’s suit with his slicked back hair, holding a bouquet of flowers consisting of primroses, baby’s breaths and roses in his hands and eyes locked into Junhui’s ones. Even though his posture was firm and seemed confident, Junhui could see the younger male’s eyes were filled with nervousness which had him questioning it. _Why?_

“Mr. Xu?”

“Junh— _g_ _ēge_.”

Junhui’s eyes widened at the sudden change in the way Minghao addressed him, it had been years since the last time the younger male called him ‘ _gēge_ ’ and Junhui didn’t like the way his heart still fluttered at the younger male’s gentle voice, still giving him butterflies in his stomach and made the blood in his veins rushing madly just like before.

It made him feel something he shouldn’t be feeling and Junhui hated it. He hated how the younger made it seems effortless to make him feel things while Junhui had to burn everything left of him just to forget all of those emotions and feelings he had before. It was unfair.

“What is this?” Junhui asked again, trying to sound as normal as possible despite the tingling sensation in his stomach.

“Dinner…?” Minghao answered but it sounded more like a question to Junhui.

“I know, but why?”

Minghao held back the urge to cringe at Junhui’s simple yet prickling question, Junhui had always been good at hiding what he was feeling inside so seeing the composed self of the older male made Minghao’s nervousness skyrocketed, he really had no idea whether Junhui was mad or disturbed by his little surprise along the way to here, not to mention Junhui didn’t even flinch upon seeing the romantic candlelight dinner that Minghao had prepared here.

There were flowers everywhere, scented candles, small lanterns and soft silken clothing hanging from the ceilings—posing as curtains surrounding them, giving the two privacy yet enough small gaps in between to let the bright moon inside.

Minghao had done his best to prepare his most romantic candlelight dinner in the span of just one day without any preparations or whatsoever ahead before yet Junhui’s expression remained the same.

What did he do wrong? _Where_ did he do wrong?

“Uh… Because today is your birthday…?” Minghao said hesitantly.

“Oh, is it?”

If someone complained to him about how his secretary—Junhui, was such a conversation killer before, he wouldn’t give a single fuck to them but now that he experienced it himself, Minghao didn’t know whether to cry and pathetically trying to keep the conversation going or to swallow his pride and let the conversation die.

Weighing the options he had, Minghao realized that there were no options to begin with. He had to keep the conversation going, no matter what happened.

“I’m sorry,” Junhui said again, this time sounding apologetic. “I have troubles keeping up with dates that are not related the company.”

Junhui’s words struck Minghao right to his core, he never realized how tiring it must be for Junhui to deal with almost everything in the company. The older male was basically running from one place to another, reviewing reports and making sure everything was presentable before handing them to Minghao.

Junhui would also be the first one to talk to their clients or colleagues, writing down their pieces of thoughts before compiling them into a neat file and handed it to Minghao. But now that he thought of it, Junhui seemed much thinner than the last time Minghao remembered. There were dark circles under his eyes, his voice cracked slightly and if what Mingyu said was true, he must’ve been very burdened by all of these. Junhui was never one to seek for professional’s help when he could deal with everything by himself. Just how hard it was for him?

“You don’t have to apologize.” Minghao said, watching closely for any changes in Junhui’s expression. “Have a seat.”

Junhui looked up, still as mysterious as the sealed old book with scary scribbles on its cover that Minghao once found in his grandparents’ library. He didn’t even know what it was about until very recently. Junhui was almost the same except this time, Junhui was the one blocking Minghao from seeing what was inside of him. Did the older male really despised him that much?

“Is there anything you want from me?”

Minghao winced at the question _plus_ the tone, he knew Junhui didn’t mean it _that_ way but somehow his consciousness was too aware of how much a jerk he had been to Junhui in the past—he still was a jerk to Junhui right now according to Mingyu and his friends, also Junhui’s friends and everyone else.

“No—I mean—” Minghao took a deep breath, frustrated with himself. “I just want to have a dinner with you.”

Junhui stared at Minghao—a little bit too long for it to be nothing in Minghao’s opinion but he didn’t push the older male any further. Even though it seemed like Junhui was fine with this dinner as he pulled a chair for himself without saying anything, Minghao was still having troubles trying to see through the high walls Junhui had.

He let out a breath he didn’t know was holding before taking a seat in front of Junhui, a bouquet of flowers nearly forgotten until he caught a glimpse of it.

“Oh this is—this is for you.” Minghao choked the words out as he handed Junhui the bouquet. “I was trying to look for another set of flowers but then I remembered that you like primroses and baby’s breaths.”

“Thank you.”

And there it was, the silence _again_.

Minghao had lost count on how many times Junhui had killed the conversation between them and how many times he had tried pathetically to keep the words going. He could’ve just let them being swallowed by the eerie silence, ate without a sound and then after that, they would be back to _nothing_.

But there was something inside of him, tugging at his heart rather forcefully, causing his hands to get clammy and a bead of sweat trickled down from his forehead, disappearing under the collar of his expensive suit. He felt like he had been avoiding this for too long, _far too long_.

His gaze fell down to Junhui’s pinky finger, a silver ring still adorning the digit beautifully. Ah, how he had forgotten how beautiful Junhui’s fingers were, adorned by the most prized jewels… And their wedding ring.

Minghao laughed at himself, the younger self of him would’ve mocked the present Xu Minghao. Judging at how pathetic he looked right now; _“But that was your decision, wasn’t it? Letting him go because you **didn’t** asked for any of this.”_

Minghao bit the tip of his tongue, holding back the urge to laugh at himself maniacally like a mad man. His trembling hands gripping at the cutlery, a silent gesture for the two of them to start their supposedly to be a romantic dinner.

The two didn’t exchange any other talk after the last conversation kill, just eating silently with Junhui sometimes praising the food even though Minghao knew how bad he was at cooking. Junhui’s tongue didn’t deserve such a torment from the food Minghao made.

“You don’t have to praise the steak,” Minghao said. “I know you’re forcing yourself to eat it.”

“It’s good.”

“It’s overcooked.”

“Better than undercooked.” Junhui replied, taking a piece of the steak into his mouth and chewed on it gracefully.

“We both know how you disliked overcooked food,” Minghao said. “You don’t have to eat this.” He continued, attempting to take Junhui’s plate away which earned a swat to the hand from the older male. “ _Gē_ —”

“I am eating, Minghao.”

Minghao was frozen at the name, it had been too long ever since Junhui called him by his name like that. It had always been ‘Mr. Xu’ or ‘Sir’ but never his full name like this and Minghao was immediately filled with emotions, butterflies in his stomach dancing happily and he had to fight back the sudden urge to ask Junhui to say it again, perhaps a couple more times. Instead of saying something that he would regret for the rest of his life, Minghao retreated his hands back and sat in silence.

Junhui finished his food not long after, he was now drinking the expensive champagne that Minghao had prepared earlier. Minghao preferred wine but Junhui didn’t like the red alcohol so he settled on buying the most expensive and highest quality of champagne just for the older male. Junhui had an expensive taste in everything but _men_ according to what Wonwoo said to him the first time they met after his divorcement with Junhui.

Minghao took a deep breath, letting himself relax just for a bit and enjoyed their surroundings. The weather was nice and the moon was shining brightly, enough for Minghao to see Junhui’s beauty despite the slightly dimmed place caused by the silken clothing around them.

Everything about Junhui was beautiful in Minghao’s eyes, from his slightly arched brows, his long and straight lashes, his sharp nose and heart shaped lips. So beautiful even time and age were reluctant to take those breathtaking features away from Junhui. Everything about Junhui was so beautifully breathtaking, Minghao had settled with that fact a long time ago yet he had no courage to say so.

“I think I just gained a few kilos,” Junhui joked lightly. “Thank you…” He said again, big and sparkly eyes looking up to Minghao’s dark ones. “I hate to say this but you have an early meeting tomorrow and I have to—”

_“Please stay.”_

Junhui’s movement faltered for a second before he sat again, looking at Minghao questioningly. He was unaware of the fire inside the younger male, the tidal waves washing over him and the aching feeling in his chest, tightening with every breath he took.

“I—” Minghao choked. “I have something to say.”

“Okay.”

Minghao swallowed the hard lump in his throat, Junhui’s nonchalant manner was not what he's expecting and it was getting on his nerves which somehow worsened the situation for him. So much for the _mighty Xu Minghao_ to take, it seemed like his previous little ‘surprises’ didn’t have that much effects on the older male, that or he was just too good at hiding his feelings. Both were making him nervous either way.

“ _Gēge_ … I—” he choked again, groaning out loud in frustration. Why the fuck he always had to turn into a stuttering mess in front of Junhui? What kind of sorcery Junhui had done to him?

“Calm down, take a deep breath.”

“Can you please like—I don’t know, show some emotions? It’s making me nervous the fact that you’re there, looking unbothered as ever despite what I’ve prepared earlier before. You—you’re not affected at all?” Minghao asked breathlessly, sounding almost like he was desperate—which he actually was.

“So you were the one who did all of this?” Junhui finally opened his mouth, not to say the words Minghao expected but at least he did say something.

“Yes…?”

“I thought it was someone else because it was so out of your character to do any of this, I’m not sure what you’re expecting from me or what you had in mind while preparing those…” He trailed, looking unsure of which words he had to say next but in the end, the upcoming words still struck Minghao’s heart. “But we’re not together Minghao… _Not anymore_.”

And yes, those words struck Minghao like a lightning, another reminder for him that he deserved no forgiveness from the male in front of him— _a painful reminder_.

He knew he did some bad things, hell, he fucked everything up back in the first years of their marriage but he was young. He didn’t know what he had back then, what he did to Junhui or how wrong it was. He was young and confused, angry at his own parents. He didn’t know how wrong it was to take everything out on Junhui, someone who suffered perhaps even more than him.

If Minghao was mad because his parents took his freedom away then Junhui must’ve gone insane from the things he had to give up on. But Minghao was so young to realize that he was the exact epitome of _‘arrogant rich brat’_ just like what Mingyu said to him.

Minghao wasn’t gay, he liked girls—obviously, and he dreamt of having his own perfect little family someday, with a puppy and a house by the beach, a beautiful wife and perhaps a daughter too.

He wasn’t fully against the marriage but it was just too soon for him to realize that Junhui was more than any of the naïve dreams he had before; more than a puppy and a house by the beach; more than a beautiful wife and a daughter.

Only when he lost the chance to be with Junhui did he realize how wrong he was, blinded as fuck and was too selfish and fucked up to realize that he hurt Junhui without even giving the older male a chance to say anything. Then he was too far deep in his guilt that he decided to let the older male go, out of his life and away from the monster who was capable of nothing but hurting him.

But Mingyu’s words kept swimming his mind ever since he talked to the man, he couldn’t even stop thinking about it. Did he really set Junhui free of his pain? Or did he just added another one?

“Are you free?” Minghao suddenly asked through his gritting teeth, looking as if he was forced to say the words.

“What?” Junhui looked up surprised, clearly was taken aback by the question.

“Did I—did I set you free?”

Junhui frowned at the question, “What do you mean by that? Are you okay?”

“Our divorcement.” Minghao said, fisting his hands into balls. “Are you happy?”

Junhui sucked a sharp breath, looking like he was offended by Minghao’s question. Another wrong move which the younger hadn’t realized yet. “If this is you, trying to pin the blame on me again, I—”

“No..!” Minghao cut him off, eyes wide in surprised. “I just—I just… Wanted to know…” He whispered, looking defeated. Now realizing how wrong his wordings were, Junhui must’ve hated him right now.

“What are you trying to do Minghao? What’s the meaning behind all of this? Because I can tell you just this much, my feelings are not for you to toy with. What is it that you want from me? How much more do you wish to take?”

Minghao’s dark eyes were fixed on Junhui’s honey glazed ones, wavering vulnerably. A sign that he shouldn’t be having as _the_ Xu Minghao but right now, Minghao was standing on a shaky ground and to be truthfully honest, he didn’t know whether he was making _a progress_ or worsening whatever thing he had between him and Junhui—as if they ever had a thing between them to begin with. Wasn’t all of it an act he pulled on the older male?

“Would you believe me if I say that I want _us_ back again?”

Junhui stared at him, far too long for Minghao’s comfort. “Are you joking with me?”

Minghao winced for the nth times that night, _that_ sharp and painful tone again. “I want us,” he said. “Back to where we first started.”

“Aren’t we, now?” Junhui asked, his voice was a lot sharper and colder than before. “Back to where we first started? We are right now Minghao,” he said. _“Strangers.”_

“No—” Minghao stuttered, Junhui’s last word was a harsh blow to him and he had troubles voicing what he truly meant. He should be saying those words he had been hiding deep down inside of him instead of choking on his own breath. Dear heavens, why the fuck did Minghao had turn into a pathetic, helpless man in front of Junhui?

“I think we’re done here.”

“No—please…!” Minghao held Junhui’s wrist and turned the older male around and _that_ again, the same expressionless face Junhui always had whenever he was hiding what he truly felt inside. “I’m sorry.” Minghao said and he could see Junhui’s eyes widened for a moment. “I don’t know what to say anymore…” He admitted in embarrassment. “I’m sorry… _Gēge_.”

“You…”

“I was—I was wrong, in everything I’ve ever done to you. I pushed you and I blamed you for the things that were actually hurting both of us, not only just me. I was young—and I know that it shouldn’t be my excuse but _I was_. I didn’t understand how wrong the things I did to you back then, I guess I was just afraid to be tied to someone I barely know, let alone that but a male. I grew up with my friends telling me what their dreams are, growing up to be a successful man and marrying a beautiful woman—it had always been that. I didn’t know that there was actually no differences between both, whether you’re marrying a man or woman. What matters is the heart, I should’ve realized it sooner but I put on an act out of anger instead. If my parents took my freedom like this then the least I could do was to act like I was fine with everything, perhaps I could hurt the man they choose for me. To show them that I was capable of feeling things too, of feeling mad and upset about the choices they made on behalf of me… Of how wrong they were. I took it out on you.”

Junhui looked at Minghao, he was no longer trying to pull his hand away from the younger male like before but rather just standing there, _listening_. And Minghao had never felt this ridiculous and defeated before but he continued, he had to.

“I should be ashamed for saying this but yes, I had a thought of cheating on you back in our first year of marriage—in fact, I did.”

“I know.”

Minghao looked up almost immediately, eyes wide in surprise. “You know?”

“Did you honestly think you could sneak out of our house without waking me up? I’m a light sleeper Minghao, I woke up to the faintest sound even the slight changes in your breathings when you were having nightmares. Besides it was really hard to ignore when you came home reeked of cheap alcohol and perfumes,” Junhui laughed bitterly. “At least you could’ve chosen someone with a high class background and not those ladies you met at the club. _I have a better taste_.”

“I—”

“No, please keep going.”

Minghao took a deep breath, somehow he felt a slight relief in his chest after receiving a response from Junhui even though it was another harsh and cold slap to his face. He tightened the grip on Junhui’s hand, missing the way their fingers linked perfectly as if they were made to hold each other.

“But then… Mingyue came to us and suddenly everything changed after that. I started thinking that maybe we could work on this, I was just—he was just so tiny, you know? Tiny and beautiful. His big eyes, happy giggles and cute smiles, I thought that maybe I could put on some efforts here. At least try to fix the rough edges in our relationship but then you changed too…” Minghao looked down. “You became more distant and we started to have more fights than before, I guess it was because of your pregnancy or because of the stress from it but it was just different and then you mentioned about the leaked photos and I just— I just took the harsh blow? I didn’t think it was a big deal, it happened quite long ago before I decided to be better. But then looking at you and Mingyue together made me think _hard_ , I _realized_ that I’ve cheated on you, I hurt you, I put all the blame on you and—and it just dawned on me that I don’t deserve you, not even the slightest bit. I was so blinded by my own hatred and ego I failed to see that you’ve given up so much more than me for the sake of this marriage, _for_ _us_. I killed your dreams and I took your future away, I was the sole reason why you were hurting all this time and yet I’ve never heard a word from you, not a complaint nor a request except for that one time.” Minghao stopped for a moment, the lump in his throat was getting painful and he felt like his chest was being crushed by a certain aching pain. “You asked for a divorce and being the fool I am, I said yes. I thought it would set you free; from me, from your pain and from this nightmare. And again, I did what I think I had to do without even thinking of your position or feelings, I hurt you again. Perhaps I should’ve said no, I should’ve hold onto you tighter, I should’ve said the truth… But I’m such a coward in front of you, Wen Junhui. All I could do was to let you go and hide.”

Minghao took a deep breath, his hands were shaking now and he had lost his confidence from before—he lost the entirety of his life-worth’s confidence. His composure was no longer determined but rather full of guilt, he felt sorry and pathetic. He didn’t look like the admirable Xu Minghao anymore but rather a man pleading for forgiveness.

“I pushed you away and only then I realized, I made a mistake. A big one that I don’t even know whether or not I could fix it, but I’m a coward and I choose to hide myself behind my works and busy schedules, I keep telling myself excuses for turning blind to your pain. The hypocrisy growing inside of me, telling me that I didn’t ask for any of this to happen. Maybe it was a wrong start for both of us—a mistake if you’d like to call it that way but it was a mistake that I would never be regretful of. I’m glad that I met you, had the chance to be your husband even if I fake most of it but more importantly, I’m glad that Mingyue is here with us and I would never trade him for anything. I regret the things I’ve done to you and wished that I could turn back the time, perhaps slap my past self, hard enough to crack the bones and a kick to the face would be satisfying too… But never did once I regretted meeting you.”

Minghao looked up to Junhui’s eyes, they were no longer cold and emotionless but rather wavering in fragility as if Minghao had breached past the first protection walls he had for years, slowly but surely making his way towards the heart of his city. The hand Minghao was holding now felt cold and slightly trembling, he didn’t know whether it was because of the night air or something else which was tugging at his heart but still, a wishful thinking sounded nice to him.

“You always know your way around words,” Junhui finally said even though his voice was stern but Minghao could sense another emotion in it. “What do you want Minghao?” He asked again, sounding a lot more like a plea to Minghao’s ears, seemingly like he was tired from all of the shit he went through.

“I want this,” Minghao said, opening a small velvet box that he had been keeping inside his pocket.

Junhui looked down at the blue velvet box in Minghao’s hands, a pair of golden wedding rings were there. After all this time, Minghao kept those rings safe and sound. “If you want the rings, you can take them.”

“ _Gēge_ ,” Minghao called. “Please take me seriously this time.”

“I have so much things to say,” Junhui began. “So much questions left unanswered and I don’t know if I’m ready for this… I—” Junhui took a deep breath. _“It hurts.”_

Minghao’s heart lurched at the last words, breath caught in his throat as he fought back a whimper threatening to escape from his mouth. He knew Junhui was hurting but hearing those words from the man himself felt so much different now, more than a harsh and cold slap, more than a stab to his heart. It hurt the entirety of his existence—Minghao wanted to die.

“And I have to admit that I hate you at one point in my life Minghao, I was even thinking of taking Mingyue away and just moved to another side of this planet without telling you. That’s how much I hate you but I guess I’ve grown attached to you and settled as your secretary instead even though maybe I could still go back to my previous life—that was stupid of me. But I guess part of this was my mistake too, you’re not the only one to blame in this matter.”

“ _Gēge_ —”

“I said nothing.” Junhui cut him off. “I said nothing and that was my biggest mistake, I should’ve said something back then. I should’ve said something to you because I tied you to me, I knew what you were dealing with at the time, I knew how devastated you were yet I said nothing and let myself watch from the sideline as you hurt yourself. I was selfish, I want to think that I was capable of having my own happy ending with you. _I want you_ , I want you in my arms so I said nothing and let everything falls apart between us. I should’ve said something back when you first started cheating on me or when we had our first argument, I should’ve said something back when our parents introduced us. I was the older one yet I let you handle everything and just watched as you stumbled on your way. I didn’t do anything when you fell down, I didn’t do anything when I saw you struggling. Yes, you killed my dreams and took my future away but I bind you to me, I let your freedom got taken away, I took your youth. I selfishly wanting to have my own happy ending and let you took the fall for it. We were both wrong, we made mistakes and we hurt each other too. I don’t even think ‘sorry’ would be enough but I want you to know one thing,” Junhui took a deep breath. “That was then, it was all in the past. You might took my future away back then but you needed to know that my future is with our son now. You’ve given me another path to live Minghao, because no matter how painful it is right now for me—for us, our son is right here, right on this path and what kind of a mother would I be if I were to put myself first before our son?”

There were tears in the corner of Junhui’s eyes and this was the second time Minghao watched him cry, the first time was when he asked for a divorce but both times were just as painful for Minghao to witness so he took Junhui in his arms, hugging him tightly as if he was afraid that Junhui would disappear any seconds now. Junhui shouldn’t be blaming himself, he did nothing wrong. It was all Minghao’s fault.

“I’m sorry,” Junhui said. “I’m sorry for turning blind to your pain.”

“No,” Minghao shook his head, cringing at how strained his voice was. “It wasn’t your fault, none of this was your fault. You’re right _gē_ , our son is here.”

“Your voice is cracking… How much it hurts you to acknowledge that I’m right?” Junhui suddenly asked, voice slightly muffled but Minghao could hear the lightness in his tone. “You never said anything close to it even though I’m always right, Mr. Xu.”

“Dear goodness, I’m sorry but as the CEO of my own company, I have the rights to be… Right at all times.”

Junhui chuckled, eyes crinkling up into beautiful crescents. How Minghao loved the sight of Junhui smiling and happy like this. But more importantly, Minghao loved how Junhui fits perfectly in his arms like he was meant to be there.

“We should let what happened in the past stay in the past,” Minghao began to say. “I would like to think that we deserve to be happy after the hell rollercoaster ride we took.”

“It was indeed a hell rollercoaster.”

“ _Gēge_ …”

“Hmm…?”

“You haven’t told me the answer yet.”

“Answer to what?”

“Please,” Minghao groaned, not wanting to repeat himself because it was embarrassing. “Don’t do this to me.”

“This?” Junhui said, showing his ring finger.

“How did you—when did—” Minghao’s jaw slacked opened at the sight of the beautiful golden ring.

“When you hugged me,” Junhui said, a small playful smile was on his face. “You were too busy sniffling my perfumes to notice.”

“I—I supposed I need to—”

“No need.” Junhui shook his head.

“B-but—”

Before Minghao could finish his words, Junhui was already pulling one of his hands up—the same golden ring was already on Minghao’s ring finger. A smile made its way to Junhui’s face upon seeing Minghao’s shocked but happy expression, the younger male was really bad at hiding something from him.

“How did you do that?”

“I might’ve developed a certain skill while I’m working for you…”

“You did things behind my back??” Minghao asked, looking betrayed. “No—wait, it’s not important. What I should be asking is… Are we— _are we okay?_ ” He asked hesitantly.

“Only if you want us to be.” Junhui smiled. “Though I do have some pent up frustration towards you which I’m sure a month of vacation to Hawaii would certainly makes everything okay again.”

“Yeah?” Minghao whispered, so close to Junhui’s lips.

“We—”

“Mommy! Daddy!”

The two males pulled apart in the speed of lightning, cheeks flushing and eyes wide in shock upon seeing their son running towards them with a big smile on his face, throwing himself into Junhui’s arms with soft giggles that followed shortly after.

“M-Mingyue?” Junhui stuttered as he hugged his son. “You’re here?” He asked but more likely towards Minghao who was standing frozen not too far away from the two.

“Yes! Uncle Mingyu dropped me off here, he said that mommy and daddy are making babies!”

Junhui choked on his own spit while Minghao stood there, obviously taken aback by the bluntness of their son _and_ the audacity Mingyu had, Minghao hadn’t even got the chance to do anything yet for fuck’s sake! He swore he was going to pay his ~~friend~~ back.

“B-babies…?”

“Yes! He said if I come here quickly, I get to name them!!” Mingyu said happily.

“O-oh…”

“Can we name him Xiaoyue?? Since mommy loves the moon and Xiao means little, it would be a pretty name, wouldn’t it? Little moon?? And daddy gets to name the other one!!”

“I—I guess…?” Junhui said hesitantly, looking up to Minghao asking for a help. Where did Mingyue got the confidence from that they were going to have twins the next time they tried for it? Or if they would even go for it?

“Oh and uncle Wonu said to give this to mommy…” Mingyue pulled out a white envelope and gave it to Junhui with a big smile.

“He did?”

“Yes!”

Junhui took the envelope before letting Minghao took Mingyue from him, holding the small boy securely in his arms.

_I feel like Paris would be a nice place to have mini Huihui and Haohao (Mingyu’s words) since obviously you had Mingyue back in Australia, it wouldn’t hurt to try it again this time in Paris. They said second time’s the charm so we’re expecting twins from you and no less than that, Mingyue can stay with us while you two are making miracles (Mingyu’s words) or if you prefer to have him around then be our guests but either way, we’re expecting you two to come back with additional family members. Have fun and please, don’t break up again this time._

_Mingyu and I had enough, Mingyu is going to kick Minghao’s face if it were to happen again and I can’t guarantee he could or would hold himself back from breaking a few bones here and there. I’m going to drown you in our backyard pool and take Mingyue’s child custody._

_For the sake of everyone’s sanity, please don’t hide things and just make up. You looked better being in love rather than pretending there is nothing between you two. Both of you are horrible at acting, there is a reason why you ended up as his secretary and he ended up as the CEO instead of entertainers or actors. Stop being such an eye-sore and fix everything between you two._

_K.MG & J.WW_

“Not bad, twins sounds like a good idea.”

Junhui jolted in his place upon hearing Minghao’s voice, so close to his ears which cause the hair on the back of his neck rising. He shivered for some unknown reasons.

“Twins!!!” Mingyue squealed happily.

“Right?” Minghao chuckled, ruffling his son’s hair endearingly. “Let’s have twins.”

**Author's Note:**

> happy THE8 of JUN to everyone, there's is nothing explicit going on in this story other than the emotional mess i tried to write. maybe a bit of minghao's dirty mind but it's still not much. i had fun writing this, since this was all new and something i've never tried before. still, i feel sorry for not doing justice to this story since it could've been better if only i'm not such a lazy turtle lol.
> 
> anyway, thank you zan for being the amazing beta to me. i know i can always count on you to fix things in my rawest form of stories. sorry for the troubles and perhaps, nightmares too.
> 
> i hope good things happen to you all on this day, stay safe and happy. hmu on twitter or cc, we can talk about junhao or anything.
> 
> there is a thread about re: timeline in case anyone got confused with it, you can find it [here](https://twitter.com/ultshirate/status/1272473257828990977?s=19)
> 
> there is also a very short sequel to this story, happened years later after they got back together. you can find it [here](https://twitter.com/ultshirate/status/1213429836426833920?s=19)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ultshirate)  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ruiyeahs)


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